5 Ways to Have Amazing Friendships

Hi girls, and welcome to February! Depending on your personal situation, you could have been looking forward to this month for different reasons. *wink* However, it doesn't matter if you're married, engaged, courting, or, like me, not in any kind of romantic relationship right now (single pringle, anyone? :D), I think this month is a fantastic time to focus on the relationship we probably all have- Friendship.

Believe it or not, the Bible actually has a LOT to say about friendship.

Before we move forward, I want to quickly establish what a true friend is.

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"One who is attached to another by affection; one who entertains for another sentiments of esteem, respect, and affection, which lead him to desire his company, and to seek to promote his happiness and prosperity."

~Websters 1828 Dictionary

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In short, a friend is someone you love, someone you look up to. Someone you would do anything for. Someone you want to be like.

So, I hope you have someone in mind now! If so, then let's go!

Read on to learn 5 Ways to Have Amazing Friendships!

Make Your Relationship With God First Priority

Your very best friend, as a Christian, is the Lord Jesus Christ! He is the One who has done more for you than anyone else. Joseph Scriven said is so well in his beautiful hymn, "What A Friend We Have In Jesus".

"What a Friend we have in Jesus,

All our sins and griefs to bear,

What a privilege to carry

Everything to God in prayer...

Can we find a friend so faithful,

Who will all our sorrows share?

Jesus knows our every weakness

Take it to the Lord in prayer. "

The Father has truly done everything for us, He is always there, He cares for us, and knows our pain. Make spending time with the Lord your first priority!

When you read the Bible, pray, and ask the Lord to help you comprehend what you read. Ask Him to show you exactly what He wants you to see in the passage you're reading. When you're worried about something, pray about it, committing it to God's will. Trust is a big part of any relationship, and our relationship with the Father is no different. Trust Him with what worries you, and watch Him do amazing things with your life!

By caring for your relationship with the Lord first, you are already getting a head start on your other friendships! When your heart is right before God, you can have peace and reassurance in all areas of your life. This will give you what you need to take the next step in your other friendships.

Choose Your Friends Wisely

The Bible has much to say on this matter of choosing friends, which really goes to show how much importance God places on friendships.

The kind of friends you surround yourself with will influence the person you become! If you constantly hang around people who are rebellious, worldly, or on the edge, spiritually speaking, you are setting yourself up to become like them. By contrast, if you grow close to godly, sincere, young people, who want to please the Lord, this can point you in the right direction! Remember, a friend is someone you look up to and want to be like! It is someone who shares your ideals and beliefs.

C.S. Lewis said, "What draws people to be friends is that they see the same truth. They share it." Find friends who exemplify who you want to be, or at least who are striving to be what you want to be, and encourage each other in the Lord.

Proverbs 13:20

He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

Proverbs 27:17

Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

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Quick FAQ

What about hanging out with unsaved friends?

I think this is a question that truly needs answering for young people these days. Where is the line between being a godly influence to unsaved young people and risking being negatively influenced by this? I hope to do a full post on this very soon, but, in a nutshell, here's the answer I have, based on God's Word:

I believe that we need to be visibly different from unsaved people, or, as the Bible says "abstain from all appearance of evil." If we are always running around with unsaved people, what message does that send to anyone who might see us? Even if we are simply "along for the ride", people may not know this; we become guilty by association. In Ephesians 5 we are called " children of light", and, as such, we have no place among the "unfruitful works of darkness."

I Corinthians 15:33

Be not deceived; evil communications corrupt good manners.

If you have further questions, please read Ephesians chapter 5 and keep an eye out for a post on this issue, coming soon!

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Be A Giver

First off, let me say that we all have that one friend. We love her to death! We enjoy her company. We get excited when we hear from her. However, she can never seem to meet in the middle. I'm not talking about compromising in matters of doctrine, standards, or anything spiritual, she just cannot seem to literally meet you halfway.

~You want to go for coffee, and she lives two hours away, but she can't quite make it to that shop in the middle for both of you.

~You send her a text asking for prayer for a big need, only to hear from her weeks later when she's in her own storm.

~You go the extra mile and send her a little e-gift card for Christmas, but the only email you get in return is one letting you know that she used it at Old Navy.

Now, is she a terrible friend? Not exactly. Maybe it isn't possible for her to drive to meet you. Maybe she's just forgetful or is bad with her email account. But when it comes right down to it, she just isn't the giver in the relationship and she probably isn't as invested as you are.

Jesus Christ is the ultimate example of a giver! The Bible says in John 15:13 "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." I was thinking of some examples of what Jesus gave to (or gave up for) those He ministered to during his earthly ministry.

~He gave time. Jesus knew that He only had 33 years on this earth, yet he spent the last several years of His life completely concerned with helping His people. I wonder if I knew that I would die in 3 years, how much time I would invest in other people, and how much time I would invest in myself.

~He gave up comfort. I mean, really, He left heaven to grow up in the home of a common carpenter. Talk about uneven exchange! Yet, He did so willingly. Not once do we see Jesus Christ complaining about his earthly circumstances. Why? Because He considered the trade worth it!

Now that you've decided to carefully choose your friends, do your best to be a giver in your godly friendships. You may even find that when you initiate the giving, your friends will respond in kind!

Another post that I have in the works is practical ideas to be a giver, so keep an eye open for this post for this post as well.

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"There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature. My attachments are always excessively strong."

~penned by Jane Austen

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Offer Godly Counsel

When I go to one of my close friends with a personal situation, I know I can trust them to offer me godly advice, always accompanied by some Scripture to support what they say.

At times, that advice was a bit painful to hear, but I knew that I needed it, and it was offered in love.

Telling the truth is always the best thing to do! This can be hard to do when it a particularly difficult truth to deliver, but if they have asked for your advice, it is usually because they truly want to know the truth.

If I am ill and I seek advice from a medical professional, I want to hear the true diagnosis, no matter how terrible it might be! Why? Because we cannot fix the problem unless we know what's truly wrong! Never be afraid to give true, godly advice when asked, because otherwise your friend cannot get the help they need.

Proverbs 27:5-6

Open rebuke is better than secret love.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Pray For (and With) Your Friends

How many times a day do we pray for our friends? How many times a day do we pray for ourselves? The numbers will probably tell us a great deal about how self-absorbed we are. (ouch!) I know I am very guilty of praying for myself, my pains, my wants, my needs, without thinking of others unless it's "prayer time."

I have started to form a habit. When a friend asks me to pray for something specific, I immediately ask them if we can pray about it right away. Sometimes this is not possible, but usually we can steal a few minutes to pray from their request. Not only does this encourage them, but I've found it also helps me remember to pray for them more often.

Another good idea is to dedicate a certain time of the day to pray for this need. Set an alarm on your phone until you have formed a habit or until the need is met. Then replace it with another need. There is always someone we can be praying for! And the best part- there is no limit to how many prayers we can offer up in the course of the day! :)

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Finally my sisters:

I hope you found this post helpful and that it is the start of amazing growth in your godly friendships! If I can be of any service to you, whether in prayer, friendship, or anything else, please feel free to reach ot to me at: sara.with.continue@gmail.com

Love in Christ,

Sara